We would like to begin by sincerely thanking you for your kind offers to participate in your garage sales. While we are somewhat suspicious of your motivations (what, you want us to have room in our garage for our cars?!) we completely agree that two garage sales are better than one and that it definitely makes sense to combine advertising efforts. We are totally with you and feel that your commercial instincts are right on.
However, while we undoubtedly have loads of beautiful, salable and exquisite crap which we might be compelled to market to the unsuspecting, we regret that we cannot participate because we cannot currently locate most of our crap. Kind neighbors, we must admit that although we have lived here almost two years, the majority of our crap remains boxed in various locations. These locations include (but are not limited to) our attic, our basement and our garage. Also a certain box sitting th the corner of our bedroom, but at this point we consider that particular box to be more of a handy end table. In fact, these boxes contain not only our crap but presumably also contain several items we am still looking for including the better part of my vast shoe collection.
So dear neighbors, we regret to inform you we will not be participating in your upcoming garage sale. However, depending on your shoe size, we may be coming shopping.
Best,
The Collins Family
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